THE SITTER (Rated R)

Only recently, this column focused on family-friendly films. Not so now for a review of the incredibly raunchy comedy of “The Sitter.”

Not attributed to Judd Apatow in any way, “The Sitter” is nevertheless a fitting substitute in the cinematic department of crude humor filled with sexual content, drug use and profanity.

Still, a graduate of Judd Apatow’s school of vulgar laughs, the chubby Jonah Hill, is the starring titular character of an unfit babysitter.

This film recalls memories of Elisabeth Shue in “Adventures in Babysitting,” minus, of course, the rude, coarse hilarity that is more commonplace in today’s world.

Jonah Hill’s Noah Griffith, a college dropout living at home with his single mom, has little motivation to do anything other than to satisfy a would-be girlfriend.

Right from the start, “The Sitter” announces its intention to bawdy, vulgar behavior. Let’s just say that involves Noah in a compromising position with his wannabe girlfriend Marisa (Ari Graynor).

After setting the stage of the film’s lowest common denominator spirit, Noah finds himself dragged into a babysitting job for a couple that wants to introduce Noah’s mom (Jessica Hecht) to a blind date.

Very quickly, Noah learns that he has just inherited the babysitting job from hell for a trio of dysfunctional kids that would turn Mary Poppins into a serial killer.

The youngest of the bunch is the precocious Blithe (Landry Bender), who likes to dress up in sexy clothes and applies more makeup than a hooker. Sadly, she looks like a JonBenet Ramsey imitator.

The oldest child is the very proper and neurotic Slater (Max Records), a lonely teen who wears a fanny pack to carry his medications. Morose and depressed, Slater claims to have “serious issues.”

The third child is the volatile Rodrigo (Kevin Hernandez), a churlish malcontent who urinates on floors and blows up toilets with cherry bombs. That he’s adopted from El Salvador makes him feel out of place.

Hoping for a quiet evening of watching TV, Noah struggles to keep the kids out of his hair. And then a phone call from Marisa compels him to load the kids into a minivan and head off to New York in search of cocaine.

What follows, naturally, is a series of misadventures as Noah tracks down wacky drug dealer Karl (Sam Rockwell), a guy so insane and paranoid that he surrounds himself with bodybuilders for security.

Meanwhile, the troublesome Rodrigo steals a dinosaur egg full of blow from the deranged Karl, which in turn leads to Noah having to come up with $10,000 to save his own life.

For his part, Noah continues to make a series of bad decisions, one of which even results in bodily harm at the hands of an enraged kickboxer.

Noah hits up his estranged father (Bruce Altman) for a loan, and after being rejected he steals his Mercedes and then robs his jewelry store.

Other adventures result in gunplay, harassment by city cops, bar fights, theft at a bat mitzvah and the crashing of a fancy charity dinner-dance.

Without question, the antics in “The Sitter” range from the absurd to bizarre. But this is to be expected from the director who gave us “Pineapple Express.”

Jonah Hill, who has recently trimmed down, is playing the type of obese slacker with quick wit that he perfected in comedies like “Superbad” and “Knocked Up.”

During this upcoming season of holiday cheer, let’s face the simple fact that “The Sitter” is not, for the most part, a joyous celebration of life.

Then again, the film surprises with out-of-place life lessons that affect everyone in a positive way, especially the gloomy Slater and the explosive Rodrigo.

In the end, “The Sitter” is either an exercise in banality and bad taste or a supremely funny film, depending on your perspective with this genre of raunchy comedy.

Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.

The film will be shown on Sunday, Dec. 11, at the Clearlake United Methodist Church, 14521 Pearl Ave/, in Clearlake.

Doors open at 5:30 [/,/ for socializing and snack-grabbing. The film begins at 6 p.m.

This fascinating and shocking 52-minute documentary is all the more impressive due to the quiet, even congenial manner in which John Perkins, former economic hit man, shares just how huge corporations, with the help of the International Monetary Fund, the World Bank and the CIA (not to mention the School of the Americas) seize control in “developing” countries.

He quit in disgust years ago and now confesses the truth.

Perkins is the NYT’s best-selling author of “Confessions of an Economic Hit Man.”

In his high-level job he would approach the head of state (and his cronies) in a poor country with lots of raw resources.

He would bribe them to allow US or multi-national businesses to exploit their resources in ways that benefited the corporations and the ruling class, but impoverished and sometimes poisoned their people.

If the ruler was unconvinced by the bribe, he would be told that next “the jackals” and then an assassination team would appear. Most often, the leader was convinced by this threat, usually with CIA help.

But not every leader has caved. In 1953, for example, Iran’s democratically elected President Mossadegh resisted and was forced out of office by Kermit Roosevelt and the CIA, to be replaced by the dictatorial shah.

Later, democratically elected President Allende of Chile, who wanted Chile's riches for his people, was assassinated at his desk with much CIA involvement on Sept. 11, 1973. He was replaced by the dictator Pinochet.

Kam Williams, writing in EURweb, says of this documentary, “Despite death threats, in this revealing expose John Perkins details exactly how America goes about cheating less powerful nations, exploiting their citizens while helping itself to their natural resources.”

This free documentary will help viewers prepare for Chris Martenson’s three-disc “Crash Course,” which Second Sunday Cinema will screen over three Sundays in January.

On Dec. 11, Second Sunday Cinema will show the first two chapters (only 17 minutes) of the “Crash Course.”

Using official US and UN graphs and numbers, this course shows why Martenson, a research scientist, believes “the next 20 years will be completely unlike the last 20 years.” This is due to the convergence of stark environmental realities, resource depletion, and capitalism's need for exponential growth.

For more information about Second Sunday Cinema call 707-889-7355.

The center is located at 4444 Railroad Ave. in downtown Pleasanton. Admission is $5, or free to students with ID.

Bryant and 13 other California poets will convene to read their poetry.

Included on the program with Bryant will be Lake County's James Blue Wolf, Albert Flynn DeSilver, Stephanie Freele, Deborah Grossman, Parthenia M. Hicks, Ronnie Holland, Penelope La Montagne, Juanita Martin, Michael McLaughlin, Jim Ott, Sam Pierstorff, Connie Post and Mary Rudge.

The program will be followed by holiday treats, opportunities to meet and speak with the Laureates, purchase their books and have them signed.

James Don Blue Wolf has been a songwriter, recording artist, performer, lecturer, poet, author and storyteller since the early 1970s. An internationally published poet, BlueWolf's first book of poetry, "Sitting By His Bones," was published in 1999 by Earthen Vessel Productions. He was the Poet Laureate of Lake County, Calif. from 2000 to 2004.

Cynthia Bryant is currently serving as the seventh Poet Laureate for Pleasanton, after having served as the fourth Laureate from 2005-2007. She was first published in 1997 after winning 3rd place in a national poetry contest and has since been published in more than 30 anthologies, numerous websites, and an e-book.

Albert Flynn DeSilver is an internationally published poet, writer, speaker/trainer, and entrepreneur. He was Marin County’s very first Poet Laureate, 2008-2010. He is the author of Letters to Early Street, Spring 2007, and Walking Tooth & Cloud, January 2007.

Stefanie Freele’s short story collection, Feeding Strays was finalist for both the Book of the Year Award and the 2010 Binghamton University John Gardner Fiction Book Award. Surrounded by Water, a second collection of short stories will be released 2012. Freele is the 2010-2011 Healdsburg Literary Laureate.

Deborah Grossman is the Poet Laureate Emerita of Pleasanton from 2009-2011. She is the author of Goldie and Me, a book about family, friendship and freedom and is a board member of the Ina Coolbrith Circle. She is also an independent food, wine and travel journalist who writes for publications such as Wine Enthusiast and Decanter.

Parthenia M. Hicks is the Poet Laureate of Los Gatos and the recipient of the Arts Council Silicon Valley Fellowship for Literature in the genre of Short Story. Her recent work is featured in The Call: An Anthology of Women’s Writing; Remembering: An Anthology of Poems, and Sweet Obsession: The Art of Lynn Powers.

Ronnie Holland served a two-year community volunteer position as the first Poet Laureate for Dublin from May 2008-May 2010. She has been published many anthologies, including the (first) 2009 California Poets Laureate Anthology, Sometimes in the Open. She collaborated with artist Lily Xu on a 2010 chapbook, Where a Painter meets a Poet.

Penelope La Montagne was Poet Laureate of Healdsburg, Calif., 2004-2006. She is author of chapbook, River Shoes, and participates in the California Poet in the Schools program.

Juanita Martin currently serves as Fairfield, Calif.'s first Poet Laureate. She is an award-winning poet, freelance writer and performance artist. Active member in the Coolbrith Circle, Redwood Writers, and Marin Poetry Center, she is currently working on a book of poetry called The Light House Beckons.

Michael McLaughlin is a three-time California Arts Council $17,000 grant recipient. He has used poetry in his work with incarcerated youth and adults for 23 years and is the San Luis Obispo County Area Coordinator for California Poets in the Schools. McLaughlin was Poet Laureate of San Luis Obispo. in 2003.

Jim Ott was appointed second Poet Laureate of Pleasanton, 2001-2003. A teacher of writing at Las Positas College since 1997, he is active on several foundations and boards in the Tri-Valley area. He hosts a television program about books and authors and is a newspaper columnist.

Sam Pierstorff became the youngest Poet Laureate ever appointed in the state of California in 2004 in Modesto. His debut poetry collection, Growing Up in Someone Else's Shoes, was published by World Parade Books last year.

Connie Post served as the first Poet Laureate of Livermore, 2005- 2009. Her most recent book “Trip Wires”, which received praise from, California’s former Poet Laureate Al Young, was released in September 2010.

Mary Rudge has been the ongoing Poet Laureate of Alameda since 2002. She is a member of the World Congress of Poets and other poetry societies and organizations.

For information, contact Michelle Russo at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or 925-931-4847.

Ted Kooser, US Poet Laureate from 2004 to 2006. Photo by UNL Publications and Photography.

Here’s a fine poem about a cricket by Catherine Tufariello, who lives in Indiana. I especially admire the way in which she uses rhyme without it ever taking control of the poetry, the way rhyme can.

The Cricket in the Sump

He falls abruptly silent when we fling

A basket down or bang the dryer shut,

But soon takes up again where he left off.

Swept by a rainstorm through a narrow trough

Clotted with cobwebs into Lord knows what

Impenetrable murk, he’s undeterred—

You’d think his dauntless solo was a chorus,

This rusty sump, a field or forest spring.

And there is something wondrous and absurd

About the way he does as he is bidden

By instinct, with his gift for staying hidden

While making sure unseen is plainly heard.

All afternoon his tremolo ascends

Clear to the second story, where a girl

Who also has learned blithely to ignore us

Sings to herself behind her bedroom door.

Maybe she moves to her invented score

With a conductor’s flourish, or pretends

She’s a Spanish dancer, lost in stamp and whirl

And waving fan—notes floating, as she plays,

Through the open window where the willow sways

And shimmers, humming to another string.

There is no story where the story ends.

What does a singer live for but to sing?

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2010 by Catherine Tufariello, whose first book of poetry is Keeping My Name, Texas Tech, 2004. Reprinted from Able Muse, Inaugural Print Issue, Winter 2010, by permission of Catherine Tufariello and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2009 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. They do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.